93 notes to myself
And my favourites from 2025.
You are at a party, you know no one, but intend to change that. Or you are new to the job market, without yet knowing what you want to do. Or you start an English-language newsletter with short fiction, without a single subscriber. So you mingle, talk with people about the high and the low, and slowly feel your way forward.
How long should you keep exploring before moving into the next phase?
The answer is 37%. That is roughly where I find myself now. It feels like the moment to begin using what I have gathered along the way: the invisible rules, the norms, an emerging sense of who holds authority, and a better understanding of where to spend time, and when.
One thing I did right from the start was to share only what I could not stop doing. Fiction is probably the hardest kind of writing to spread online, but it was also the only thing that would have made the effort feel meaningful. Better for reach would have been to share Substack growth hacks, links to articles, or advice on how to become happier. You can easily imagine a post with the title: How to improve your life permanently.
This dispatch is the exception that confirms the rule.
Recently, I went through some old notes and read them again. Among them was a list I wrote after a period of sick leave five years ago. It consisted of reminders, things I felt I needed to hold on to, even when the hamster wheel started spinning a little faster. I shared the list on Substack Notes and, thankfully, several people seemed to recognise themselves in it.
Many of the points still spoke to me. One served as a reminder that you can’t always live in a campaign, which is something I have done, to some extent, this year, as the newcomer at the party. Today I am no longer new, and will therefore need to handle things differently. Thank you for the reminder, me. At the same time, I now know things you did not. So I wrote a new list, shaped by what I have learned since then.
These new notes to myself bring The Bagatelles 2025 to a close. Thank you for this year. See you on the other side.
Want to ask me a question? Use this form.
Welcome away ꩜
✦ 93 notes to myself ✧
First, a small disclaimer: my aim is depth. Deep thinking, deep writing, deep feeling, and deep relationships. But this runs in parallel with the demands of reality being met: cooking for my children, keeping track of homework and doctor’s appointments, work meetings, and an endlessly dwindling stream of emails and notifications. Perhaps one never quite reaches one’s goals, and perhaps that is all right too.
A minimum standard: always congratulate the people you care about on their birthdays. Make it a priority. Put it in your calendar as an annual reminder so you don’t forget.
And don’t dwell on the fact that they may not always remember yours.
Write down what you are going to do on paper before you use a screen.
An e-reader is not a screen.
Matcha’s caffeine is gentler, but lasts more evenly across the day.
Keep a single long list. Use AI to help sort it, if you dare (seeing yourself from the outside can be surprisingly eye-opening).
Set aside a fixed time for the list each week, so your brain can rest in the conviction that things are being taken care of. Sync it with another routine, so you know it gets done.
Light-therapy lamps work, but first you need to find a sustainable place for them.
Sometimes it is worth choosing the fast and unfocused. But choose with care.
Go to the cinema.
When it comes to TV: rent films. The opportunity cost is too high.
Focus on what you already have, and only very slightly on what you don’t.
It never ends, and that is how it should be. Choose a pace instead of trying to get everything done.
“This too shall pass” applies to success as well. Sad, of course, but an insight that leads to better balance.
Think in phases.
The advantage of routines is that they remain even when you fall out of them.
Build group-based social activities into a routine.
Fall into every rabbit hole, wherever you happen to be when it opens. It benefits everyone involved when you are your best self.
Meditation works, but unfortunately it requires a motivation you usually only acquire after things have gone quite badly.
Give yourself a point every time you say something wrong in a foreign language.
Want things to happen? Start by walking out the door.
Eat a boiled egg every morning.
If it’s not a strong yes, it’s a no. (That’s the essence of the book Essentialism, which means you no longer need to read it.)
Even if you live in a cell, you need to take care of your cell.
If the project feels too big, ask yourself what the next small action is. (My summary of the book Getting Things Done.)
Have a place at home where you put all technology when it is not in use. If you fall out of the routine, begin again.
Seek meaning, not happiness.
Good enough is good enough. Things change. So does the need for rules.
You don’t have to do everything yourself. In fact, something is off if you do.
One of the best feelings is watching someone else realise your idea.
Rules are not there for the good days.
Slowly walking through the day that has passed, in your mind, is a useful activity. It sharpens memory and shifts perspective.
You are the most important person in your life. That insight is a prerequisite for doing real good for others.
That means accountability. Circumstances matter, but you are always the CEO of yourself.
It is entirely possible, as a Swede, to work remotely from Seville for a few weeks in the winter, even with a regular office job. It does, however, require asking ten months in advance and turning it into an annual routine.
Annual routines are the best kind of routines, and the most caring thing you can do for yourself. They release enormous amounts of energy.
Interrail with your kids.
Always tell people if you are afraid. You may still have to do it, but it eases the pressure.
There is a correlation between selling and sales, but also spend some time thinking about what it is you actually want to sell.
Relief is an underrated feeling. A form of acute gratitude.
If you don’t want to promote what you create, how can you expect others to want to do it?
Host parties for milestone birthdays. Even if it feels overwhelming and too big. They last far longer than a single evening, and you show everyone, not least yourself, that you are worth it.
Buy a clock radio.
Use it too.
Creating art can be mistaken for a selfish pursuit, but it is a great comfort for those who remain to keep someone’s voice when it is gone.
Writing in silence with others is an effective way to get a lot written. Group pressure is uncannily effective. It is also a good way of meeting like-minded people.
Most things don’t happen (those who need to understand will understand).
Keep calm and carry on is an attitude that works in almost all contexts. On the one hand a cliché, on the other easy to remember.
If you have major plumbing work in your building, live with your grandmother. It may be your last time together.
The word Proust can be the key that opens the door to the right people.
People are entitled to their opinions, but there are others too.
Go to meetups via Meetup.com and meet strangers. It is only nerve-racking the very first time, and it broadens your sense of what is normal.
Broaden your sense of what is normal.
Substack is the great promise of the internet, if you choose to see it that way.
The one with the most patience usually wins.
It is good to consciously practise accepting uncertainty. A window of opportunity often opens just before a deadline, but control freaks never get to know that.
No system is permanent. See also 27.
How busy you felt will have no bearing whatsoever on the outcome.
You can’t compare yourself to anyone.
Basketball is a great social activity because you can play even if you can’t really play basketball. As long as everyone involved understands the purpose of the social activity.
Block time in your calendar with a colleague, then sit in a café and work on just one thing for three hours. It makes a big difference.
Podcasting is like a variant of couple’s therapy. Or a dancing class.
If you know with certainty what you want, you have a good chance of making it happen. But it may require a long planning horizon. Speak openly about what you are looking for so others can help you find it. See also 35.
A Spaniard may, at a first meeting, ask how you plan to celebrate Christmas. If you have no one to celebrate with, he will call his mother immediately.
And if you invite one or two Spaniards to your birthday party in Stockholm, they might show up with a guitar.
Both hyperphantasia and aphantasia exist. People are similar at the core, and also not. In that sense, your own experience is unique.
No one else can know what you feel and think unless you communicate it.
The aim of work is to maximise total utility.
The aim of art is to maximise personal utility.
If you are new in a place and want to make friends, start by asking someone you already know if you can meet any of their friends. It may sound a bit too forward, but it works.
The Portuguese are the Scandinavians of the Mediterranean. That can be useful knowledge.
Read at cafés with your children.
What matters in art is not being good. It’s being interesting.
Who you are is good and important.
What the young don’t know is how much can be accomplished with time.
Not caring is freedom. It is, after all, slightly more accessible than trying to become financially independent.
What self-help books don’t say: sometimes it’s simply not about you. Pull yourself together. Do your duty.
On the same theme. Setting demands is a form of care. It means: I believe in you.
A phone call can resolve most screen-based conflicts.
YOLO is a ridiculous expression that is nevertheless worth remembering.
One way to cope with the constant flow of impressions is to give yourself a screen window once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once in the evening. A little like how therapists advise patients to concentrate their rumination.
The bombast in Kieślowski’s films conceals how subtly the sequence of events actually moves. Watch and learn.
On the same theme: when you write, turn up the temperature. No one likes a story soaked in lagom.
Everyone needs a place where who you are is considered normal.
One workplace is enough, even for the generalist. There is value in having a clear and convincing answer to what you do, both at dinner parties and for yourself.
Try to avoid gatekeepers between your artistic practice and the people who are meant to encounter it. Only then does the system become sustainable over time.
There is always something. Always, without exception. It therefore becomes more a matter of attitude.
There is a particular kind of luxury in a high-quality promotional pen.
You can’t own too many cabinets, only a home that’s too small.
But it is in fact possible to own too many books. Ask yourself: will I read this within a lifetime? If not, isn’t it better that someone else gets the chance?
The very highest status belongs to those who have a good and loving relationship with their children. Bonus points if the children are grown up.
If you start a newsletter, don’t worry about the audience. Focus on what you want to give.
Be transparent about what you want and how you function.
You made it to the end! Don’t forget that life is wonderful and exciting.
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✦ My favourites from my 2025 ✧
Below is my list of the most memorable presences of the year, grouped by category.
Film: Aftersun ✧ I cried uncontrollably. It clearly hit a nerve.
Reference book: Metropolis by Ben Wilson ✧ A Sapiens for the history of cities.
Purchase: The e-reader from Kobo ✧ I sync it with Instapaper to read articles and essays from the internet. My second best purchase of all time (the best was the automatic cat feeder).
Work: The diary project ✧ It involved some media appearances, but also close contact with writers and their lives, and culminated in an evening at the museum led by Patrik Hadenius Språkbrev. Next year, we begin collecting dreams.
Podcast: The Last Invention ✧ The history of technology is one of my interests (see my pioneer interviews for the Internetmuseum), and the story of AI really needed to be told like the story it is. Runner-up: Podden Idélinjen.
Article: “The man who wants to know everything”. ✧ That profile of the polymath Tyler Cowen, which makes you want to try street food in Ghana and memorise all the regions of Russia.
TV series: Ripley ✧ I binge-watched the entire season of the Patricia Highsmith adaptation. Then I watched it again, which was a first. The presence of Caravaggio worked remarkably well. The series later became a strong source of inspiration for Bardo Noir.
Paid subscriber: My friend Björn Falkevik ✧ The first, forever. Thanks also to everyone who followed in his footsteps. I see you all.
Anti-social media app: Minutiae ✧ Created by the Swedish photographer Martin Adolfsson in New York as an art project. Once a day, at a random moment, you are prompted to photograph what is around you, slowly forming a more reality-based photo album of your life.
Video game: Grim Fandango ✧ An even stronger influence on the book I am writing now. I almost see the story of Bardo Noir as an homage to this 1998 game, with Manny Calavera as the cynical salesman in the land of the dead. In my story the protagonist’s name is, perhaps, Björn?
Substacker: Henrik Karlsson ✧ Every time a new essay is released it feels like a small Christmas Eve. It makes the reader want to live deeper, deliberately, and more richly.
Website: Futility Closet ✧ Curiosities from the past, curated by a true connoisseur. Also available as a podcast. No longer updated, but it will take a long time to work your way through it all.
Non-fiction: Among the Believers: An Islamic Journey by V. S. Naipaul ✧ I found this one in a book-exchange shelf by a bus stop. His descriptions of travelling in Iran just after the revolution, and in rural Pakistan, are masterful.
Reader: Celine Nguyen ✧ She gives me an intense urge to read, and was one of the reasons I took the step and started this Substack. A place where serious literature was clearly appreciated.
YouTube: The Lost Ones on ARTE ✧ Inspirational eccentrics from history. The videos are removed from Arte.tv, but some episodes are still available on YouTube.
Most missed: My father’s cousin Ola ✧ Here’s my tribute to him.
Song: Down to the Beach ✧ Played acoustically at Ola’s funeral.
Playlists: Zenopolis & Bardo Noir ✧ On repeat while writing and editing.
Flâneuse: Caroline Howard ✧ Pushing psychogeography forward on Substack. Also one of 32 newsletters that recommend The Bagatelles. Thank you all.
Date: Witold Riedel ✧ Whom I met in Lisbon after being captivated by his chaotic prose. Another meeting in a few days, this time in the studio.
Tree: Ginkgo ✧ Runner-up: Japanese maple.
Force of nature: Tamara ✧ Every third day she has produced high-quality essays on emotional life and wisdom, with distinctly Proustian qualities.
City: Venice ✧ It was my first visit, and I only want to go back. The most spectacular destination of my life. Honourable mentions: Cambridge, Porto, Hudiksvall, Trieste.
Novel: The School of Night, by Karl Ove Knausgård ✧ For a long time it was speculated that he could only write about himself. It turned out that he could become anyone. Runners-up: Per Hagman with Johannes och jag, Lina Wolff with Liken vi begravde.
Distant relative: Ossian ✧ A century later, he generated a delegation of relatives from the US.
Secret salon: John Airaksinen’s ✧ An invitation via Substack to an off-the-map location led to a guided meditation by Eric Schüldt, conversations about alternative ways of living, and small-group discussions. Magical.
Project: Editing Zenopolis ✧ Eight months of work. Not the best thing I can write, but the best thing I have written. The kind of story you can only write at the end of an era.
Print newspaper: The Economist ✧ Because it is about everything except news. Instead, it prints what is actually happening.
Interpreter of Sweden: Aaron Lake Smith ✧ With his personal trilogy about the country we both live in. Also my second Substack date.
Celebrity death: Paul Auster ✧ It affected me deeply. When I started writing, I felt closely connected to his voice.
Obsession: Substack Notes ✧ Yes, it is social media. Yes, I became addicted. It was almost worth it, because that is how most of you found me. A double-edged sword.
Notes writer and photographer: My son ✧ He went viral on the first attempt.
World-watching: Exponential View ✧ Azeem Azhar is tirelessly guiding the way forward with a positive view of the future. I can’t wait to get there.
Pet: My cat Alice ✧ She passed away completely unexpectedly this spring. I still think, every time I come home, that she will be waiting by the door.
✦ Three Threshold Texts ✧
The posts of mine that have led the most people to start subscribing.
Clear winner with 20 new subscribers:
Joint second place with 9 new subscribers each.
My wish for 2026: that my writing and thinking continue to travel beyond my small Swedish language sphere, preferably in contexts I don’t expect, such as finding an English-language publisher for Zenopolis, or to see a bagatelle published in a journal somewhere far away from home.
Do you want to help? Or do you think I can help you with something? Or just have an idea? Please feel free to email me.
Thank you all for this year.
– Jörgen Löwenfeldt ✦ jorgenlowenfeldt.se
This dispatch went out to 1,443 readers across 80 countries. If it resonated with you, consider sharing it with a friend who might feel the same, leaving a comment, or recommending it on your own Substack.
A warm thank you to the 16 sponsors of The Bagatelles. Your belief in my work keeps me going, and as a paid subscriber you have access to all long-form content, including the novel Zenopolis, all chapters of Naïveté Travels, and my work in progress: Bardo Noir.
Everything I wrote in 2025:
Collected Works and the Rage Against the New
For as long as I can remember, I have made lists. Annual diaries, daily diaries, to-do lists, can-do lists, spreadsheets of eras, and, of course, the everything lists. It feels so good afterwards, letting the mind rest by summing up what has happened in order to be clear when moving on. Perhaps it is no wonder I ended up working in a museum.
✦✧ Looking for the archive? You can find every post here.
There is much wisdom here. Happy New Year!
I love the way these notes to yourself (and the earlier list) read like a diary.